The Struggle is Real

I struggled today. 

Some days I feel like a rock star of a human, a hustler in my business, a work horse of an athlete, a positive gust of air in life, a freaking super hero in momming and the CEO of my household getting through my days. Sometimes all in one day! Though there are dips and valleys in each day, we roll through the punches and get what we can done. If we don’t, it just rolls into tomorrow. I’ve learned to only worry about the things that I can control (that means people too - though that topic requires its own post).

Some days, I just can’t get out of my own head. I can’t help but feel overwhelmed, anxious and paralyzed with the scattered thoughts in my head needing some direction on what to do next.  It’s like I need for someone to grab me by the shoulders and turn me to face in the direction of what I need to do next. Just a little push.

And I don’t mean “do next” in the sense of some big project. I mean it in the sense of “go to the restroom, eat lunch, respond to an email, get some water”. 

It is so ridiculous that I looked at the clock and realized that I have done nearly nothing in hours other than shuffle through my thoughts over and over.

Why am I telling you this? Because I know, that as humiliating as it feels and how vulnerable it makes me to share it, I also know that I’m not alone. 

Luckily, I have very few days like today. Usually they come when something BIG is on the horizon and my internal “you can’t do it” voice takes a strong hold of my insecurities. It’s begging me to fail. It’s begging me to quit and sabotage an opportunity. So thinking about the things I need to do to make it a success along with the basic things of every day life get combined, it is the perfect storm.

The badass, superhero, mother hustler I mentioned above is MUCH stronger however. It may take a few hours to get my shit together, but I do. And I do it by writing (though I have to get in workout clothes first, go figure). It could be a text message brain dumping on someone or it could be jotting notes down at a million miles an hour or it could be all of those things plus this blog post.

I already feel the the jumbled lines straightening out. The ideas getting organized in my head of which a plan of action will come next. I trust that it will come. I trust and know myself to know that when game day comes, I WILL crush it. And if I stumble, struggle or get stuck somehow, I would have learned from the experience and grown so that the next time, the paralyzing moments will be lesser and lesser and eventually gone altogether.

Going out on a limb and trying new things has a way of testing you.

I didn’t exactly pass the test with flying colors today but I didn’t fail either. I’ve made it through the hump of this hard day. But looking at how it is also the hump of this week and the hump of the first month of 2019, I’d say I’ve knocked it out of the park already for merely giving it a go. See below, the unexpected recognition for just doing what I feel passionate about day in and out.

It has been a rocking 15 days of 2019!

So, if you find that you are on the same struggle bus as I was today, reach out and talk it out with someone. Write it down and know that attaining any level of success comes first with doing the hard things.

You’ve got this. Get dressed, get organized, make your list and most importantly DO NOT QUIT.

Powerful in leggings,

Valerie